A Slayer's Daughter
by witchlight
Summary: being rewritten so that it actually makes sense but the general story is that: Faith's dead and Buffy is adoptive mother of her daughter. There are strinking motherdaughter resemblances but can the gang prevent Faith's past becoming her daughter's present
1. Jess

Hey there.  Ok this is a bit weird 'cause this was actually my first ever fic but it got so disjointed that I've started re-writing it.  Hopefully when I'm done with the re-write it'll make sense.

Setting: Very important.

Everything happened exactly as the show tells right up until 'Chosen' when the only difference is that the spell to activate the potentials was only temporary, they are no longer actual slayers.  Spike's story continued in Angel and I don't watch it so I don't know exactly what happens to him but for this story he's back and you can just pretend he left Wolfram and Hart at some point to fight with Buffy.  Angel didn't and you will see why shortly.  Buffy, Giles etc are living in Cleveland about 15 years after 'Chosen' which makes Buffy in her late 30s and Giles kinda old.  Since Cleveland's the other hell mouth you can just imagine that things have been largely the same; vampires, demons, not too much major stuff since the First was defeated except for one event that will be explained as the story develops.

Disclaimer:  Absolutely not my characters, storyline and setting maybe but damn I wish I owned such amazing characters!

Summary: Jess is Faith's teenage daughter, now Buffy's adoptive daughter after Faith's death.  Can the gang stop Jess's future being like her mother's past?

            Two voices could be heard emanating from the kitchen.  Willow Rosenberg tried hard not to eavesdrop but couldn't help hearing most of the argument.  Then, without warning, one of the voices yelled, "Screw that!" and stormed out, slamming the back door so hard that the windows rattled despite Xander's careful craftsmanship.

            Buffy walked into the living room, where Willow sat with a witchy something, looking shell-shocked and as pale as if she had just seen a ghost.  In some way she had.  Jess, who had stormed out was so similar to someone else Buffy had known, someone else who had once left after an unwelcome revelation with the two words Jess had chosen to use.  It was hardly surprising Jess was much like Faith, she was her daughter after all though no-one would have thought Faith to be the first one to turn maternal.  Jess had inherited so much from the dark slayer, her looks, her wild, sassy character and lack of inhibition but also her strength and power.  Though they didn't understand how, Jess had been born with the birthright of the slayer but unlike potential slayers it was almost immediately active.  Jess had then spent thirteen years on the streets of various US cities, honing her skills with Faith as her mentor.  While this meant Jess was brilliant in combat it also made her a dangerous slayer.  Faith had taught her many lessons and Jess had clung to her every word, loving and trusting the only person who was always there for her.  The problem however was exactly how much like Faith Jess was becoming.  Jess's childhood had been brief, she had been too keen to grow up, to grow into Faith but she didn't know that to become the Faith she knew she would have to become the Faith she didn't.

            Jess was a slayer, she knew that and she knew her power was for killing demons.  What she didn't always know was where the line fell between the bad and the demonic.  Faith was always so wrapped up the fight, in the kill that Jess had become the same and paid less attention to who the opposition was than how to fight it.  It was drilled into most slayers from the moment of their calling that they should NEVER, without exception, kill a human.  Faith had broken that unwritten code and her self-loathing for doing so had prevented her from sharing the force of it with Jess and from sharing the story of evil that had followed her actions.  Buffy knew this and she knew that though Jess had not yet overstepped the mark, some day soon they would all see the results of Faith's omission.  Unless she managed to re-direct Jess's path which, if the previous quarter of an hour's screaming was anything to go by, wasn't very likely.

            "Didn't go well then?" Willow remarked as Buffy collapsed into a chair.

            "About as well as a mission to stop Giles from reading would go." Buffy replied and even Willow couldn't hide a smile as she thought of the impossibility Buffy had just described.  Despite his increasing age Giles was as determined as ever to learn as much as her could, and seemingly to collect as much literature as he could if only to continue aiding Buffy who continued to fight, with almost as much agility as when Willow had first met her, an bubbly teenager so different from the woman she had become.

            "It's tough Buffy, you're kinda trying to undo everything she knows." Willow saw the distraught look on Buffy's face and hurriedly added, "But it's right.  Of course you have to do this."

            "I know.  She can't carry on like this or we'll end up in the same situation all over again.  It's just so…"

            "Hard." Willow supplied.  "Buffy you've faced things ranking impossible.  You've saved the world.  Hard is nothing."  Buffy shook her head slightly.

            "It's so much more complicated than that though.  I just don't know what to do.  I have no right to do anything.  She does things Faith's way and I can't tell her not to.  It's the only way she trusts, I can't just tell her she's got it all wrong.  I don't even know if I have it right."

            "You do Buffy.  You have to convince her.  It's been a year since…well since Jess came here.  We can't risk it happening again, she's too powerful.  I've done the evil thing remember and it was bad, bad bad."

            "I know Will it's just that I can't tell her any of the stuff that happened.  Faith's her idol, she died to save Jess, to save everyone, there's no way she'll believe me but she has to change or…I'm scared.  Willow I'm scared of what she could do with all that power." Buffy paused for a moment, realising what she had said and acknowledging fully that it was true, she was scared of the young girl she was supposed to look after.  There was not much Buffy was afraid of, when you saw monsters and demons every day it didn't do to be a scaredy cat but there were certain things Buffy had experienced, or could imagine, that sent shivers down her spine and one of them was the memory of a dark alley and a man slumped against a dumpster with blood pouring from a stake wound to his heart.  "Will," Buffy started slowly looking up at the face of the friend who had accompanied her through treacherous journeys and had still travelled so many of her own.  "Could you get rid of her power, can you somehow stop it? 'Cause if she doesn't have the power she can't abuse it right?"  Buffy was thinking desperately, praying for Willow to say yes, that a simple spell could stop Jess's power growing, that it could be controlled before it controlled her.

            "Buffy I know how bad too much power can be, I mean really really know but I can't do that.  I wouldn't."

            "Will please.  It's to help her.  It could save her.  You know what happened to Faith, you know what damage it did."  Buffy pleaded with the flame haired wiccan whose eyes were filled with compassion.

            "Buffy I can't.  Slayer power, it's just so …beyond me, beyond anyone on earth."  Willow added the second statement knowing Buffy wouldn't believe she couldn't do it if anyone could.  Though Willow took care to restrain her use of powerful magics the ability was inside her and she no longer needed to worry about dark roots being a side effect.  "Besides who am I to say who deserves to be a slayer?  Faith made a mistake but she was a good slayer.  What if you made her mistake?  Would you deserve to be a slayer?"

            Buffy was silent for a moment.  Willow's question was based on one she had asked herself many times.  What if she had killed the deputy mayor?  Would she have followed Faith's path?  They had been young, it wouldn't have been impossible.  They both had slayer instincts, the need to battle personal and physical demons with weapons and fighting, they were not that dissimilar…in some ways.

            "See Buffy." Willow said as if she had read Buffy's mind which the slayer knew was possible and not only by magical means.  "There's a bit of Faith in all of us.  You have the same urge for taking action; you want to be able to take charge, to get things done, she just went too far and that's what you have to stop Jess doing."


	2. Encounter in the graveyard

Second chapter re-written (finally) I will get to the end one day I swear.

Jess neither knew nor cared what was being said about her; it was the things being said about someone else that annoyed her. She wandered through one of Cleveland's many cemeteries revelling in her slaying abilities. She was in top form tonight; anger gave her the strength to rule the graveyard. Every vamp that was unfortunate enough to choose that night to rise was welcomed to their second life with a sharp stake through their unbeating heart. The undead were active tonight, giving Jess plenty of time to enjoy herself beating them to a pulp before dusting. Faith's blood was running through her veins and with it the love of the hunt, the ability to get wrapped up in the fight and lose the clarity to go straight for the kill. Jess didn't realise this problem; she was confident in the power of her blood, and her adrenaline so she continued to pound the demonic creatures.

"You have to be careful." Jess mimicked as she threw a punch at a new vampire.. "Jess the power can go to your head. You have to be more controlled."

"Who are you talking to?" The vampire asked in confusion but Jess didn't answer. Instead she slammed her fist into his face wishing heartily it was Buffy's face she was pounding, or any of the scoobies for that matter. It didn't quite stop her ranting though, as she marched down the rows of graves.

"She crossed a line Jess, you could go the same way. We care about you Jess…we don't want to see you hurt." 'Bull' Jess thought. 'You're just scared of what I could do. You just think you're getting older and I'm stronger…like she was.' As if to prove this too herself Jess swung around and let loose with the hardest front kick she could muster, hitting the vampire's face squarely.

"Hey watch it!" a familiar British accent rang out. "You nearly smashed me teeth in." It was Spike, slick blonde hair gleaming in the moonlight. Jess crossed her arms and stood aggressively facing Spike.

"What the hell do you want? I don't have time right now." Spike grabbed Jess's arm as she made to turn away from him.

"You'd better make time kid 'cause otherwise you're headed for a fall.

"Spare the lecture Spike I've heard it all. I'm a screw up, I'm headed down a path of darkness, I'm following my mother. Well great. I'll be damned proud if I follow her because she knew how to handle herself." Jess was defiant; she was sick and tired of cryptic warnings which basically said the same thing: follow Buffy's example.

"You need to listen to this Jess, you've got to start taking advice from someone other than your own bloody self."

"Look just 'cause you're on the Buffy bandwagon don't expect me to be. My mum taught me everything I need to know and now I'm done learning. I can fight just as good as Buffy, if not better. I don't want to hear her slagging off my mother and I definitely don't want to hear it from you. I don't know why no-one dusted you years ago."

"Now this is exactly the sort of thing we need to talk about." Spike began but Jess interrupted , her blood beginning to pump harder, causing her face to grow hot. 

"What, threatening a vamp, staking the undead, not really seeing a problem there Spike."

"No you wouldn't cos that's not the problem genius. Its threatening a vamp who's trying to help you and trying to kick his face in."

"Get over it Spike this isn't about you, you know that."

"No you're right Jess it's not but it's not about you either. It's about people who are going to get hurt if you don't stop being so bloody pig-headed and get rid of this picture you've got of Faith as some kind of saint." Spike snorted at the image of Faith as a saint but stopped laughing as Jess pressed the tip of her stake hard under his chin.

"Don't you ever talk about her again, ever. You just have no idea." Despite his situation Spike laughed throatily.

"No idea? Kid I have met the woman and I know you. You think she's the bee's bleeding knees and you can't stand to hear anything else. You think it would honour her to follow in her footsteps and you refuse to believe that that's the worst thing you could possibly do." Spike's speech was cut off as Jess pressed harder against his throat.

"Shut up. Just shut up."

"Yeah maybe I should; there's other people better than me at talking 'bout Slayer issues."

"Too right Spike you're just not getting through but I doubt anything Saint Buffy has to say is gonna hit the spot."

"Look miss Attitude I don't really care what happens I'm just the messenger so get you're arrogant, slaying arse home now."

"Whatever Spike I've got things to do." Jess raised her arm…

"Jess don't even try it…" Before Spike could say anything else Jess's stake made contact with his head and he slumped unconscious on the ground.

"Night Night Spike" Jess muttered turning on her heel and striding into the night.


	3. Trial by jury

One hour later Jess was at dancing at the nearest club; spiral. Just like Faith used to she drew guys like a magnet. They were transfixed by the power radiating from her and the beauty that was impossible to miss. As she danced the lights glanced off her glossy dark hair and you could be forgiven for thinking it was Faith dancing, back from wherever a slayer on the brink of good and evil was sent. Perhaps that was why Xander did a double take when he came to drag her home. For just a second he saw as if a premonition a girl surrounded by people but lonely to the core. The flashing lights only showing the darkness she lived with and her coldness and beauty a façade to hide it. Then his revelry shifted and he saw a teenager hurting deep inside and filling her life with action so she might never forget the one woman who she learnt it from and who she truly believed in. Appropriately enough that woman's name was Faith.

Jess was moving slowly, sensually against the body of a guy who showed no objections. She was in perfect time to the sultry music but paying no attention to it. This was wind down time, after slaying she'd usually come here, dancing with different people each night; growing physically close to most, emotionally to none. Faith had first taken her into a club when they arrived in Hellmouth city; for a moment it seemed Jess wasn't going to be allowed in but it had taken only a moment for Faith to persuade the bouncers otherwise-another lesson Jess had learnt and recalled. She was concentrating intensely on the music, forgetting everything except the feeling of control over her body and she exercised this control in a manner that caught everyone's attention at some point that night. She was so absorbed in the movement that she didn't notice Xander stranding barely 3 metres away until he coughed her name rather loudly.

"Xander what the hell are you doing here? Get out of here now." Jess grabbed Xander by the jacket and bodily hauled him to the door, paying no notice to her dance partner's disappointment. The two of them fell out of the club's door into the night, the cold air hitting Jess's bare shoulders like a blow she herself could deliver. "I can't believe you showes up like that. It's so embarrassing. I don't need someone watching my back, I can handle myself." Xander ignored Jess' outburst and took off his jacket.

"Here" Xander handed the jacket to Jess. "Cover up." In silence the two walked to Buffy's house where a welcoming committee was waiting with stone cold faces.

Buffy sat facing the door, her wiser but still youthful face tired and worry lines just beginning to show but not masking her beauty, the hurt she had endured not hiding her inner strength and resilience. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a pony tail and no strands escaped the tight band to mar the perfection of her white shirt. Giles sat next to Buffy. He radiated wisdom but was tinged with the vulnerability of age. Giles believed in the natural order of time wherever possible and if that meant more wrinkles and a receding hairline so be it; his mind was as sharp as anyone ha a right to expect. The other brilliant academic in the room had a different aura. It was filled with magic, the strength of which was unrivalled. She sat serenely, less angry than the rest with concern written on her beautiful face, her red hair gleaming softly as she turned to look at the dark haired woman next to her, clasping her hand. On the other side of Kennedy sat a sulky figure; blond, weedy in stature Andrew had hung around Buffy still hoping to pay off his guilt by helping. Dawn was gently applying ice to Spike's head whilst he scowled at Jess. She was an adult now and her life was very different to the old Scooby gang's. She still fought their battles, still helped with the research but her pin stripe suit indicated the difference. She lived separately, had a job and a relatively normal life, knowing she would never be called upon as a slayer and instead helping Buffy with the side of life which didn't involve worse demons than the tax man.

Xander slipped into the chair next to Willow leaving Jess standing alone as if facing Trial by Jury……..

"Well guys watsup?" Jess's unconcerned attitude was typical and often left Buffy at a loss of what to do, she had come to sympathise with Giles a lot over recent months realising the difficulties he must have faced with her. Tonight however she was feeling up to the challenge thanks to much priming by the gang. They had all arrived as soon as their various lives had allowed and Spike had woken up. "I mean isn't it kinda late for the oldies to be up or…..ooh is it sleepover at the slayer's time again?"

"Jess watch your manners" Buffy shot at her feeling a wave of parental responsibility but Giles gently pulled her back into her seat saying,

"Buffy you know I'm all for etiquette and respecting your elders but we've got bigger problems to address." Jess started to interrupt but Spike got there first.

"You bet you're backside we do, our mini-slayer's got an attitude that merits a visit to some kinda institution, military school's a bit relaxed but it'll do to start with."

"Spike at this precise minute I'd rather Jess had hit you harder but we do have important issues to discuss so I'd be grateful if you could shut your trap." Giles still had the ability to quash Spike's torrent of words and the Vampire settled back in his chair looking mutinous. "Jess this is a difficult subject but we do need to sort it out. Now we accept that you've learnt to do things very differently from how we do them but we're concerned about the consequences of you continuing in this manner."

"Look Giles I just got on with things. I was always taught that action was the best way for me to solve things. That's what I'm for, I slay things, I don't sit around on my backside 'cos then no evil things would die."

"Yeah but what if you made a mistake Jess, what if you weren't prepared for something. You know so much killing makes lines a lot foggier and what if you cross one that you can't deal with." Xander was trying hard to be patient and get the message across.

"Like what exactly? I'm a slayer, I can handle fights and demons and vamps, I can cope with pretty much anything." It was Buffy's turn.

"You really think you can handle anything? Jess you have no idea some of the stuff Faith and I went through. You think you could cope with killing someone? A person, an innocent human?"

"Why would I do that?"

"It's what your mother did." Spike said snidely. "S'why maybe it ain't such a good idea to follow her example."

"No, no way she wouldn't do that." Jess was genuinely confused. She had built Faith a pedestal so high that she didn't understand how anyone could even try to destroy it. She felt like this was criticism of Faith passed on to her. Perhaps it was. Jess had taken on board so much of Faith, she had inherited her feisty character, her original feeling of joy in the hunt and Faith had shared her life with Jess although the past was edited. Jess didn't know though about the pain Faith had dealt with. If she did well this story could have been very different. "She saved people, yeah and anyway even if she did it was just one person. She must have saved way more…"

"You think that makes it better. Faith tried to justify it that way too. She acted cool but things didn't turn out so good Jess. She didn't mean to kill that guy but that didn't change anything. I was there. It didn't matter what she said, seeing the man die in front of us, it changed us both but especially Faith. I think that was the start of….." Buffy looked to her friends to help finish the sentence.

"The evil chapter" supplied Xander.

"Yes well I'm not sure you wanted to put it so bluntly Xander but it has to be said somehow. Jess, wonderful though Faith was at slaying the more supernatural things in this world, there was rather a large period of time when she used her abilities to help evil fight against us and very nearly won." Giles tried hard to be diplomatic in his approach but they could all see that Jess wasn't going to take this lying down. They had tried over and over to steer Jess's path from danger but tonight was showdown. Something direct had to be done and if that was sharing Faith's history with her daughter so be it. No one had told Jess of the murders, of Faith alliance with the evil side or the reason for her spell in prison because the memory of Faith's last days had stayed in their minds…her redemption was complete so there was no need to drag up the past, no need to destroy Jess' trust in her mother…until now.

"Look I don't know what you're trying to do here but I don't have to believe any of this. You're just doing it for some wacko reason I don't even want to know why. My mom was not evil she's amazing, was amazing. Yeah she got in sht but so have you all. She died fighting evil, she gave everything to fight it."

"Yes darling and that's why it was the good guys that got her."

"Spike don't go there." Dawn suddenly got involved sensing that this was the wrong path to go down.

"No do carry on Spike." Jess was suddenly looking pale but there was a steely glint in her eye that everyone recognised.

"Don't think that would be wise doll, the big slayer's giving me an evil." Sure enough Buffy was glaring at Spike so hard it seemed she could set him on fire, furious that he'd gone against everything they'd discussed.

"Well its hardly my fault love, concussion would explain the memory lapse."

"Spike keep talking and you'll have a real concussion, so bad you wont wake up." Buffy was reaching the end of her tether, she wasn't renowned for having a long one but Jess's was shorter.

"No way Buffy. Spike spills or its not just his head that rolls."

"Jess are you threatening us? Giles was finding all this very trying. He was strongly reminded of the gang in High school, it had been hard enough to maintain any authority then.

"No of course she's not, she's inviting us all for a slumber party and there I was thinking watchers were kind of clever geezers…."

"Spike I swear it, one more comment and you are so kebabbed get it." Even Spike seemed to realise that Buffy had had enough. She decided to try and steer back to the original topic of conversation. "Look Jess we just think that if you ease up on slayer thing, let me handle it for a while maybe do some things with kids from school you know…"

"Buffy I'm not a kid, I couldn't give a sht what you think I should do. I want to know why my mom was killed by the side supposed to be fighting alongside her, the good side. No one who could kill my mom was good. I don't want to be with people who are on that side… "

"Jess it's not as black and white as that" Buffy started but Jess cut her off.

"…My mom was better than you lot, the things I saw with her taught me more than anything you could and you know what. I think you're scared of that. You're scared of the fact that I have power at least equal to you Buffy and I use it. You could do anything with the things you have but you don't because you're scared, well I'm not. I'll use it however I have to for my mom's sake. She had faith in me and I can prove to her that she had reason, whatever I have to do I'll do it because I loved her more than anything." Jess turned sharply and marched out the door.

"So did I." Buffy whispered with tears dripping from her face.


	4. Talking to Faith

The words in bold and Italic are from 'Wishing you were somehow here again' from Phantom of the Opera (wicked musical by the way).  Please please please review I love getting them and I really wanna know what people think.

Now evil is kind of easy to find if you life on a Hellmouth and are mad with those who fight it.  In fact it wouldn't be that much of a coincidence if you went to seek it out.  Jess didn't know what she was doing but she left the others scared that this was the route she was going to take, and when she found evil they didn't know how she would act but Xander at least had a bet going that it wouldn't be in her usual capacity as a slayer.

            Jess strolled the streets and cemeteries of Sunnydale in a stalkers manner; silent and sticking to the shadows.  Still dressed in black leather trousers and a red corset top Jess shivered slightly, it would have been worse had she been a normal child.  She felt the rough wood of the stake she carried in her trousers and the cool metal of the knife in her boot and the plain silver cross around her neck.  She didn't see many creatures of the night, wolf whistles came from drunken men standing outside bars and jess only just stopped herself using one of her weapons against them.  A couple got a fist in the face as the young slayer stalked past, others received a foot somewhere more painful.  Jess didn't really know where she was going, if anywhere in particular, and kept her slayer senses alert despite her mind's distractions.

            _How could they? How could she? Why didn't she tell me?_

Jess couldn't understand how her world could fall apart so easily.  She thought her mother had shares everything with her but Buffy's story told otherwise.  Faith's pedestal was in danger of crumbling to the ground and if it did Jess knew that she would fall with it.

            So that must have been just before she went to prison.  G-ddammit why didn't she tell me?  She never told me why she went to prison not really but they all know and we were closer than any of them.  Why'd she even leave me with them? With Buffy who looks like she's trying to be a college cheerleader when she's in her 30s and thinks she's bloody special 'cos of what she's been through.  Hey my life hasn't been a barrel of laughs just recently.  Thank G-d she doesn't expect me to call her mom.

Jess had somehow got herself to a hilltop where one tree stood, its leafy branches swaying eerily in the night breeze.  Underneath stood two gravestones but only one grave.  'Buffy Anne Summers' read one but Jess stood in front of the other one tears rolling down her face and dropping to the green grass below which Faith lay.

You were once my one companion 

**_You were all that mattered_**

****

"Mom" Jess whispered.  "Why?" She stopped there unable to express the confusion she felt out loud.  Instead thoughts flowed through her mind mingled with words of a song she couldn't quite place.

Wishing you were somehow here again 

**_Wishing you were somehow near_**

****

Buffy really doesn't like me mom, she wishes she didn't have to look after me and the others too.  They want to stop me being what I am just so they can be in control.  They're scared of me mom, why are they scared?  You weren't, you loved me, right mom?  You did didn't you?  Then why didn't you tell me everything?  I know you were good, I'm sure you were so why are they telling me good people killed you?  Only evil would kill you, they'd have to be evil to take you away from me, to leave me with Buffy.  Why is her grave empty mom?  You should be here –I don't need anyone looking after me but better you than Buffy.  Why are you lying here when she came bakc?  You can come back too can't you?  Please mom.

**Wishing I could hear your voice again**

**Knowing that I never would**

But Jess knew in her heart that she was wishing for the impossible and as she looked at the two graves a new emotion rose within her.  Resentment bubbled inside her and she grudged Buffy her life. 

**Dreaming of you wont help me to do all that you dreamed I could.**

"Mom I need you, I want you here more than I can ever say but I'm going to have to get on with things.  Things for you and for me."

****


	5. Talking to Joyce

Going on during chapter 6 ie the last thing to happen was: _"So did I" Buffy whispered._  Again the lines in bold and italic are from 'Wishing you were somehow here again form Phantom of the Opera.

For a split second there was silence then a cacophony of noise broke out.

"Spike what the hell…"

"Where do we go from here?"

"Willow can you do something?"

"Wow Jess"

"I'm gonna throttle that kid…"

Only Willow noticed Buffy slip out of the house crying silently.  She didn't follow, her heart told her that Buffy needed to be alone for a bit, that they could sort out a plan when she came back.

Buffy knew where she was going.  It was somewhere she hated and loved at the same time.  A place which was where she went when things were too much but a place which made everything worse.  _Jess has no idea.  Sure I'm not in her shoes but she has no idea what I've lost cos of this slayer gig.  She has to learn and I'll learn right along side her but how do I tell her.  Man I wish Faith was here.  _Buffy made her way to one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries, it was a place she often visited on patrol but tonight was different, Buffy's mind was so far from vampires she might not have been the slayer.  She trod a familiar path to a corner where the grave she had seen more than any other, be it during nightmares or in reality, lay.

'Joyce Summers' read the tombstone and Buffy felt her heart being twisted inside her. 

**_Passing bells and sculpted angels cold and monumental_**

**_Seem for you the wrong companions_**

**_You were warm and gentle._**

 "Mom" she whispered.  "I don't know what to do.  How did you cope with me?  You know what its like to have a slayer for a daughter.  Help me mom.  Maybe this is why slayers never usually live so long, they're not meant to have children, it only leads to trouble.  Mom I'm sorry for everything I put you through I know now how hard it must have been.  Damn I miss you, I need you more than ever.  I have everyone else- a sister, a father, friends and a daughter but I need a mother so bad.  It's weird I thought I was too old to need someone looking after me years ago, guess I was wrong huh? "

**_Wishing you were somehow here again_**

**_Knowing we must say goodbye_**

**_Try to forgive, Teach me to live_**

**_Give me the strength to try_**

_How does Jess do I?.  She just brings back every memory I want to forget.  It makes me feel so helpless around her and its hard enough acting mom when you're all there._

Too many years fighting back tears 

**_Why can't the past just die?_**

Buffy fell to the ground and sobbed as memories flooded her mind.  She remembered the day her mother died, her disbelief that there was nothing she could do to stop it happening.  Before that having to kill Angel, watching as he was sucked into hell not understanding what had happened and then having to lose him all over again.  She saw Dawn in danger, felt her stomach drop as they stood above an inferno and remembered the fear and hate she felt when she saw the world again.  More recent memories of tough battles, when people got hurt, of relationships gone wrong were less painful but still brought tears.  When her mind began to draw pictures of Faith's death Buffy stood up, shaking.

"I can't deal with this." She muttered, staring at the headstone and a second set of memories hit her like a cold wind.  They were shorter and there were very few.  There was the time she found out about Dawn, the love she'd felt for the younger girl.  There was the first time she met Jess, she hadn't even known Faith was around again until last year, let alone that she had brought a teenage daughter with her.  It was kind of awkward, the dark haired teen had dismissed Buffy as a bimbo with powers she didn't really know what to do with but Buffy'd felt something for the girl.  A bond like the one she felt for Faith, a slayer bond and she still felt it.  Buffy thought of each time Jess had come home safe and the relief she'd felt, she knew that whatever happened she thought of Jess like a daughter and if it took everything she'd ever learnt from anything hard she'd had to do she would bring Jess home again, safely and she'd explain everything. "You know what.  I think I needed that.  I have to deal, I'm not losing anyone else."

**_No more memories no more silent tears_**

**_No more gazing across the wasted years_**

On the opposite sides of townthe two slayers stood infront of their mothers' graves trying to draw strength from the people they loved.

Help me say good-bye 


	6. Deja vu number 1

Gigdgetgirl: Thanks for the comments, I know the dialogue needs work it was kind of hard to get Buffy talk in a serious conversation but it was the first thing I'd ever written hopefully I'm getting better in my other stories.  Thanks for the tips though.

As a purplish hue rose to the sky Buffy headed home.  Home.  It seemed such an empty word, fitting she supposed for an empty place.

Jess had no such thoughts, again fitting, as she had no such place she wanted to go.  Sighing she turned to go on a last ditch slaying outing before sunlight drove the vampires inside but found an extraordinarily handsome man right infront of her, blocking her way.

"Who are you?" spilled from Jess's mouth before she had even decided to say it.

"A friend" the dark haired man replied unblinkingly.

"Maybe I don't want a friend," threw back Jess, her earlier rebelliousness returning in full strength.

"Déjà vu" the man said, a smile playing around the corner of his lips.  "Why the hell not?  Might as well complete the sequence.  I didn't say I was yours."

"Ok a name could be so much more useful right now."  Jess was confused, she was sure she'd never seen this man in her life but something about him seemed so familiar and vaguely suspicious.  She also didn't understand how he could have got so close to her without her hearing him.  "So you got one?"

"The name's Angel."

Cue Buffy theme tune (Hee hee that would be fun)

            "Angel as in Buffy's Angel?"  Jess pulled out her stake sure that Angel, if that's who he was, had been called in only as reinforcements in the scooby's battle against her.

"Hey hey that thing can do some damage.  Put it away and we can talk."

"Talk?  I think I've heard enough.  Buffy's great and good and bloody marvellous and all Faith did was screw up and go evil yada yada yada.  I've heard."

"You really don't know why I'm here do you?"  Angel seemed to be upset about what Jess had said.  She didn't really understand that; the guy who loved Buffy was upset that her adoptive daughter had praised her and slated the girl who tried to kill her? Something wasn't right.  "I thought they might feed you that line. It kind of bite though, not literally of course."  Jess stared at Angel wondering if it was possible that he was on her side or if he was just taking a new angle on the persuasion thing.  So she was cynical, it didn't pay to be trusting particularly of vampire, even ones with souls.

"What do you mean that line?"

"You don't honestly believe that Faith was evil do you?  Come off it, her own daughter thinking the rogue slayer was bad."

"You don't think so, I thought you'd be all 'big up the blonde'."

"Yeah big up Buffy putting the slayer in a coma and trying to kill her.  Sure that was just a great chapter wasn't it?  Look I'm going to have a little problem soon in that the sun doesn't like me much.  Can we go inside somewhere? Or I'll meet you later."

"Uh I guess but I still don't get it.  I thought you and Buffy were all, you know…"

"Together? Yeah it didn't work out.  It wasn't just your mum she fought.  I couldn't really stay with a girl who killed me could I?"

"Miss morality killed her man?  No way.  You're still here mate, story doesn't really work."

"Long story and not long 'til dawn.  Briefly she sent me to hell.  I'm back and there's no way I'm letting her get you, it was bad enough she got Faith, she's not getting her daughter as well."

"Got Faith?  Buffy killed her?  What the hell?"

"Meet me here tonight, 10 o'clock.  Go to Buffy's now, pretend everything's ok, you haven't seen me, just be careful."  Angel walked off his coat collar upturned against the first rays of milky sunlight.

"Man, that was weird" Jess mused striding down the hill.  She didn't look back at the shadowy figure just disappearing over the other side.  It was a shame she didn't, she could have saved a life that way and maybe much more, she could have skipped a few chapters at any rate. 

She didn't see 'Angel' with his game face on snacking on a pretty teen out on a morning jog. Soul? Don't be stupid, it was nowhere in sight. 

Please tell me if you like where I'm going.  PLEASE.


	7. Past Tuths and current deceptions

Just to be clear 'cos I realised this is going to get a bit confusing.  It's set way after  the end of Buffy (obviously) and pretty much everything happened except the thing with the potentials become slayers and somehow Spike is alive (I leave it to your imaginations as to how that happens.)

Day had fully dawned when Jess reached Revello Drive.  Nevertheless she crept up to bed weary from the emotional baggage she had faced.  Buffy didn't disturb her although she wasn't asleep.  She wanted to go and comfort her daughter, to share with her feelings that had been repressed for too long but knew that the time for that would come.  Too restless to stay in bed Buffy completed a short workout, trying to keep her mind from the trouble she knew was brewing.  "Jess is home" she told herself while skipping.  "She's safe.  It's going to be fine."  Despite this reasoning Buffy couldn't fully reassure herself and slipped quietly into Jess's room.  She stood by her daughter's bed looking at her face, framed by dark hair that lay fanned out on the pillow like a blackened halo.  It was such a familiar face and yet something was different, older, wiser?  A bit like Faith just returned to her own body, Buffy knew something had changed inside Jess but had no idea what.

            Jess lay with her eyes shut.  She could feel Buffy's presence and it took all her self control not to jump out of bed and attack her adoptive mother.  She thought about what Angel had said. "She got Faith."  When Jess confirmed that it was Buffy who had been responsible for her mother's death she knew that Buffy wouldn't be left standing. 'At least they wont have to find a grave' Jess thought.  'It's ready and waiting.'

            Buffy continued to look at Jess thinking of how things had changed since she'd been around, since Faith had gone.  Unbidden images flashed into her head…

FLASHBACK

"Yo B Watch your back." A girl's voice called.  Buffy spun around, leg outstretched, catching a vampire in the chest.  He fell to the floor where she staked him easily.  Before the dust the creature became had settled Buffy was hugging a dark-haired girl tightly to her.  She pulled back quickly and started talking in an irritated voice.

_"Where've you been Faith? Dammit you could have called.  You can't just turn up and be all 'Hey B whatsup.' We've got things to sort out."_

_            "Cool it B, shit its not like you didn't know I was leaving this time and we saved the world and al first, and anyway I've got someone here to meet you." Buffy's eyes drifted to the girl who had stepped out from Faith's shadow and drew breath sharply.  She looked at Faith wondering what was going on- the girl looked so similar to the Faith Buffy had first met it didn't seem quite possible. "Meet Jess my number one girl."  Faith could see Buffy's surprise and expected an outburst.  Instead Buffy went very quiet._

_            "Your daughter?"_

_            Faith nodded hugging the girl to her side.  "Jess meet B the original chosen one, my sister slayer.  B we gotta be a threesome now, she's got the moves… and boy did that come out wrong."_

_            Jess looked at Buffy as if she was some kind of insect she wanted nothing to do with.  To be perfectly honest Buffy wasn't so keen either.  Slaying in a three?  With a girl who couldn't even be a true slayer?  Buffy's thoughts were interrupted by Jess's voice, so casual and yet firm,_

_            "Mom are you sure it's her?  I mean c'mon she's like a 5ft blonde with a really off sense of style."_

END OF FLASHBACK

Buffy smiled wryly as Jess's first words resounded in her head.  She remembered those first few weeks and the tensions that rose as Jess fought to keep her mom's attention.  It was obvious that Jess was besotted with her mother and though at first it had been difficult to adjust to Faith being a mother Buffy had quickly learnt that Faith returned her daughter's feelings.  Yet she was still the same old Faith, a little reckless, definitely too flirtatious and a bit of a mystery.  Buffy definitely didn't approve of some of the things Faith let Jess do, patrol being top of the list with going to the Bronze a close second and Jess knew it.  She saw Buffy as an uptight, restrictive figure and unnecessary addition to her life with Faith.  'Things haven't developed that much even now' Buffy thought, leaving Jess's room soundlessly.

            More at ease when she was alone Jess drifted into sleep but was soon disturbed by fragmented images that seemed dreamlike and yet too real to be just dreams.

            _It was dark but there was a light coming from somewhere.  Jess moved towards the white glow seeing two shadows outlined against it.  In slow motion arms reached out from the larger shadow to the smaller one, seeming to bury themselves inside it.  A third, even smaller, figure joined the pair as one shadow disappeared._

            Jess woke suddenly the images fading as the events of the previous night took precedence in her memory.  "That Bitch" she muttered slamming her fist into the wooden cabinet by her bed.

It was late afternoon when Jess emerged from her room.  She stayed out of Buffy's way killing time before her meeting with Angel.  At 9:30 she left the house, walking quickly to the slayers' graves more excited than apprehensive about learning the truth at last.

"So" Jess started.  "You gonna tell me what happened?" 'Angel' sighed heavily as if wishing that he didn't have to tell the story. 

 "Maybe we should go somewhere a little less emotional."  He suggested.

"No here is good."  Jess stood feet apart and arms crossed.  "Let's get this done so I can go kick some blonde ass."  

"Ok just hold it for a minute.  This is difficult to explain."

"I'll make it easier then shall I.  I ask the questions, you give the answers.  Why did Buffy kill you?"

"Yep, throw me a softball for starters why don't you?  It was some slayer thing, she wanted to kill Angelus-you know the alter-ego story right? - but little miss magic tricks got back my soul.  She still did it though.  Man does she know how to break a guy's heart.  She kissed me and told me she loved me and I believed her, I loved her too with every fibre I'm made of.  Then she killed me.  A sword right through me and a journey to hell, that was how much she loved me."  'Angel' gave a hollow laugh.   "And then she did it all over again."

"Uh I know stranger things have happened but I'm pretty sure you've only died twice."

"I meant your mother."

"They were…no way…ewww…..gross."

"No no no nothing like that.  Yes they loved each other, or seemed to but like sisters. 'Course things changed a little when Buffy put Faith in a coma."

            "When did that happen?  Boy I am gonna hurt her so bad!"  

Inside 'Angel' was laughing, this was too easy.  The girl really had no idea what was happening.  Outside he was calm, playing his role as the wounded party searching for justice.  "Must have been when Buffy was about eighteen, she didn't like the way Faith was doing things and decided she was willing to cross the line to stop her."

            "The line being?"

"Killing a human.  The council's code stopped her but Buffy's own moral code didn't.  Once she said screw the council I guess it was up to her and she took the low road.  Your mum though, she knew how to get out of tight spots, almost made it out of that one too.  Her own knife…I told you she could do things the hard way." 'Angel' shook his head and Jess followed suit not wanting to believe in such deception even knowing all that she did.

"So what happened next?" Jess asked, wanting to know despite the horror she knew would come with the end of Angel's story.

"Faith went away for a while, came to see me in LA-Buffy's exiles the two of us.  We both went to help her again for a bit but she sent me packing.  Faith fought with her though, even after everything, they saved the world side by side.  Wasn't long after that I guess she must have found out about you."  'Angel's tone remained remarkably casual but Jess didn't know him well enough to pick up on what that meant.  Or maybe she was too wrapped up in the anger bubbling inside her to even notice.  He smiled even wider on the inside knowing that Jess would eat up tales of Faith's greatness and love.  "Faith up'd again, I saw her briefly, she told me how much she loved you, even before you were born, before she knew who you were going to be."  Jess resisted the tears that threatened to fall and asked the question she had wanted to know the answer to for over a year.

"So why'd she bring me back to Sunnydale?"


	8. Why did she bring me back to Sunnydale?

I'm sorry this story's getting a little scatty I should have planned it a bit better but still Please please please review.
    
    Buffy was remembering again. _A short while after Faith had brought Jess to Sunnydale the two slayers were out patrolling. It was the first opportunity they'd really had to talk and Buffy could tell that Faith needed to get something off her chest._
    
    _           "So spill" Buffy said to Faith as they walked down a seemingly deserted _
    
    _street. "YOu're back here for a reason and I'm betting its not the night life."_
    
    _            "Oh I dunno, some pretty good kicks to be found on the Hellmouth after dark."_
    
    _ "Right, you're Faith, the bad ass slayer who gets horny from slaying."_
    
    _ "You say that like it's a bad thing B." Faith said with a pout. "At least I had somew fun with the whole slaying gig." Buffy looked at Faith with a reproving stare. "AWw c'mon B I'm back here what 3 days? and you're already on my case. Some things never change."_
    
    _            "Well some things obviously do." Buffy said pointedly hoping Faith was _
    
    _on the same wavelength._
    
    _ "Yeah Dawn's a helluva lot different...yeah you mean Jess huh?"_
    
    _Buffy nodded "Never saw you as the maternal sort."_
    
    _ "Hadn't really thought about it. When I found out I was like shit y'know but I didn't wanna back out. Hell I've done enough killing without killing my own kid and I could feel her there B, she was pea-sized, smaller, and I could feel her there, part of me, sharing my blood."_
    
    _ "Slayer blood" Buffy commented with a look of reluctant understanding._
    
    _ "I guess" Faith shrugged. "Don't think a slayer's ever had a daughter before. Could be the blood. I hate it though, how much I love her. Shit it scares me, don't think I've ever been so scared, not since Kakistos anyway."_
    
    _          "For you or her?_
    
    _            "Both. She's everything to me B. G-d if anything happens to her. She can take care of herself but I thought I could too and look what happened. She's going the same way B and I don't know how to stop her.  I can't tell her about all that shit I did, she'd think I lied to her and she trusts me more than anything.  First time anyone really has trusted me, first time my life's been important to someone else, she really cares if I come home or not. I'm expendable as a slayer but not a mother. Suddenly everything's double the threat B I don't like it."_
    
    _ "I know this probably isn't what you want to hear right now but your life always meant something to me. When we fought together I knew that as much as I wanted to live I wanted you to as well. I'd have done almost anything to have it that way." _
    
    _ "Actually" Faith said with an uncharacteristically bashful face "that was kind of the line I was hoping you'd go down."_
    
    _ "Go on" Buffy growled seeing a large favour in the near future._
    
    _ "I wanted to ask you something, now don't freak ok but will you look after Jess for me?" Faith's speech grew faster as Buffy stared at her not understanding. "If something happens to me I mean. You can teach her, not to be like me so she doesn't end up y'know in prison and a coma and....a murderer."_
    
                "So why'd she bring me back to Sunnydale?"
    
     'Angel' paused. Then said "She came to see Buffy. I'm pretty sure she expected to leave here, she never expected death though she walked its path many times."
    
              "She had no reason to fear it, she could protect herself. She died because of Buffy, you told me she got her and she's the only one who could've done it. She would've known how to set a trap that'd work. So do I kill blondie now?"
    
              "Hold on now" 'Angel said only just able to cover his glee at just how easy Jess was to manipulate. "I never said anything about killing."
    
             "I know you didn't but I did. This is my call now and if you stand in the way my stake will be only too pleased to make your acquaintance."
    
               "Did I say anything about stopping you getting one up on her? Just maybe there's other ways to do this. To kill that girl you have to love her and frankly love just aint an emotion I think you feel around her."
    
              "Damn straight its not, so what're you saying? You'll kill her?"
    
             "Nah like you said it's your call but she's already died Jess and it loses its impact after a while believe me.  I'm just saying it's not the only way to go. She's sitting there with the scoobies, like she has since high school as if nothing can touch her but something's gotta scare her, something that'll hurt her. It's something big Jess she's not afraid of much but you find out what it is and you could destroy her." 
    
                "She's scared of me.  She really needs to learn to share y'know she can't deal with being one of two can she?"
    
                "That's I start I guess, but what's she scared you're going to do?"
    
                "I guess I need to find that one out."
    
                "Might be an idea." 

_Please please review! Please!_


	9. Operation rescue Dawn numberwhat are we ...

Sorry it took so long inspiration was hard to find.  Thank-you to Sam 453 for the help.  Please please please review..if you like..if you don't just let me know!!
    
    Also I completely realise that this in no way fits with season 7 events so just forget any deals with potentials, Sunnydale being destroyed etc.  Sunnydale's all exactly the same despite the story being way off in the future.
    
                When Jess got back the house was dark and empty, not unusual, Buffy was probably out patrolling.  Jess flopped down on her bed and pretty soon was sleeping though not soundly.  Shadowy figures haunted her once aain but this time they were sharper and there was one moment of sound.  As the third shadow joined the pair Jess heard one word- 'Faith'- before one figure fell into the blazing whiteness.  Jess woke to a grey dawn, shaking from seeing what she now knew was her mother's death.  Too disturbed to sleep Jess stood by her window watching the sunrise.
    
                Buffy watched the same sunrise through a different window.  She stood in Giles' living room with a worried expression on her face matching the ones worn by Willow, Giles and Xander.
    
                "What's the plan Giles?"  Xander asked disturbing Buffy's train of thought.
    
                "The plan Xander.  I really don't know.  It's such a familiar situation and yet each time something is wrong with our actions."
    
                "Here's a plan."  Buffy offered.  "We go get her back.  How many times have we done this and you're saying you don't know what to do."
    
                "Buffy I know this is hard but we have never got anywhere by rushing into a rescue mission.  Remember the one time you ended up dancing for a demon and that other time you ended up dead."  Giles said.  "That really didn't come out as soothingly as it was intended."
    
                "yeah well I'm alive now, have been for quite a while I might add and I'm definitely kicking.  Giles I'm going to get my sister back.again.  I didn't die to save her from a hellgod so some lameass vampires, demons whatever. could have some fun with her."
    
                "How are you going to find her."
    
                Buffy stormed into the demon bar flanked by Willow and Xander.  An incredibly stupid, goblin like demon tried to grab Xander's throat.  Buffy broke its fingers without even looking.  "Oi Willy."  The bartender looked at the slayer and she continued.  "Where's Dawn?"  Willy shook his head but used to the deal Buffy socked him a hard one.  "Where's Dawn?"
    
                "Crypt.  South cemetery.  Big one with angels outside."
    
                "Thanks Willy.  Will, Xander any other information.call me if its important."  Buffy walked out the door to pick up some pointy wooden items.  "Operation rescue Dawn number.what is it now? Anyway it's on."  She said to Giles selecting her sharpest stakes from the cupboard.
    
                'Vampires are moronic'  Buffy thought as she dusted two at once with a broken broom handle.  She mentally changed 'moronic' to 'seriously irritating' as another one landed a punch to her face.  It took all of 0.01 secs for Buffy to recover with a kick in the gut followed by a series of crippling blows.  Having gained the upper hand Buffy whipped out a stake and pressed it against the vampire's lifeless heart.  "Spill" she said pushing the point a little harder into his chest. "Why'd you do it?.C'mon you're not in a great position here.  Really."
    
                "Forget it slayer."
    
                "I'd really tell me if I were you right now or."  Buffy pushed against the stake even harder.
    
                "Ask lover boy."  As Buffy recoiled the vampire slid out from under her and this time it took possibly a full second for her to recover from the punch.  She was confused, who the hell was this guy talking about?  Buffy's love life wasn't exactly making the society columns and there weren't a huge number of people he could be talking about.  The two who sprung to mind would have been prime suspects of a vampire led kidnapping but they should both be kept in check by souls at the moment.
    
                "You know what, forget the or else.  This is and still."  Buffy's anger at the vampire's haziness overrode her curiosity and she launched herself into full attacking mode.  It was an impressive show from the slayer but the vampire's technique needed some work.  It was a misjudged swing at Buffy's head that gave her the opportunity to go for the kill.  Before he dustified, her adversary managed one last irritatingly insinuating comment.
    
                "Bye bye Angel face."  Buffy stood still gripping her stake until a small voice said
    
                "Uh Buffy could you untie me.please."  Dawn was tied to the wall of the crypt, her smart trouser suit dusty and several small cuts bleeding on her hands and face.  Buffy untied her sister carefully and said.
    
                "I'm gonna have to get you a panic alarm aren't I and maybe a locator device too."  She tenderly brushed a strand of hair out of Dawn's face seeing the insecure fifteen year old inside her come to the surface.  For a split second Buffy saw herself on top of a quaking tower and Dawn bleeding, causing the ground to split unveiling a blazing hell.  In her mind Dawn's brown hair darkened further and her features morphed so that when Buffy said 'The hardest thing in this world is to live in it'  It was Jess she addressed yet she still walked to the edge and dove into the storm below.
    
                "Buffy" Jess's face said and as something clicked in Buffy's mind Dawn's face reappeared suddenly and the blaze faded to the grey stone of the crypt.
    
                "Sorry Dawnie.  Away with the fairies-'cept there weren't any fairies.  Lets go home."  Dawn nodded and the sisters walked out of the crypt Buffy asking "So what did they want with you?"
    
                "No idea but it's getting a lot less scary now."

          "I bet.  We really should look into that panic alarm though."(Fading voices as they walk away.)

To be continued hopefully very soon especially because this ch. Didn't seem very important but it will be very soon if ppl review to let me know if I should continue.

Seriously please please review I need to know I'm not just writing to myself. Please please click the little box!!!!!


	10. Emotions

            Buffy helped Dawn to bed, holding her bruised hands until she drifted to sleep comforted by her sister's presence.  Buffy looked at Dawn's fragile face, the face of a young woman but with traces of the young girl inside.  The relief that she felt now Dawn was home was overwhelming, no matter how grown up, no matter how professional and accomplished Dawn became she was still her kid sister and more precious to Buffy than she could ever hope to express.  When she was sure Dawn was asleep Buffy slipped out of her room closing the door softly behind her.  She stopped outside Jess's room looking at the stickers on her closed door.  In typical teenage fashion Jess had 'keep out' signs plastered across the wood but  at that moment they held far more emphasis than a need for privacy.  They blocked Buffy out from her daughter and just then she could isolate the pain that caused.  It had always been there, just one of the many aches her losses brought but it was sharpened, like a knife twisting in her gut.  The love and responsibility Buffy felt for Dawn, so strong she had lain down her own life to save her, bubbled inside the slayer and directed itself to the dark haired girl behind the closed door.  The door itself was solid, impenetrable and Jess's heart was the same to Buffy, it belonged to another.  For fear of trivialising the love of her mother Jess kept her heart safe, hidden from anyone else.  She rejected Buffy's feelings and reinforced her barriers and Buffy couldn't blame her.  There were times when she to had been tempted to put up defences and block people from her life, people who cared about her but she had seen the results of those actions, seen them as another slayer carried them out , seen them lead to evil, imprisonment, comas and murder.  Buffy remembered Faith's request, the last thing she asked and knew that the barriers had to be broken, jess wouldn't follow Faith, not anymore.

Buffy made her way downstairs where Willow and Xander sat.  they looked up as Buffy entered and she assured them that Dawn would be alright.

            "Just another rescue mission done and dusted then?" Xander asked Buffy in good humour but the slayer shook her head and sank wearily into a chair.

            "It's never that simple with you guys.  I wish it was but it just can't be.  Faith explained it to me."  Buffy curled herself up almost into a foetal position trying not to remember…trying to talk calmly about Faith, trying not to let the tears spill.  "She told me that she was scares, scared by how much she loved Jess and what it meant.  Everything was double the threat for her because she was terrified for herself and for jess and I know how she felt.  My life I can deal with losing, hell I'll probably get it back anyway but if I lose one of you guys."  Buffy's dams broke and the tears flowed.  "You or Dawn or Giles I don't think I could deal with that, I'd just fall.  Slayers always worked alone and they died alone, that's what the first taunted me about that night, when it thought I was dying, but I'm still here and it's because of you.  You're my strength."

            Outside the door Jess crouched listening.  Buffy was pouring out her heart to her two best friends, the worry she felt each time she took them into battle with her, each time one of them was taken from her.  As Xander cracked a joke to lighten Buffy's mood Jess smiled, a half-smile, tinged, tainted but a smile none the less.  She stood up laughing softly and headed out of the house a spring in her step and a twinkle in her eye.  The twinkle however wasn't the kind of twinkle that comes from smiling.  In fact it was more like the shimmer from the sun glinting off a very sharp knife.

 Then the conversation turned as Buffy asked what her friends had found out at Willy's.

            "Generally not good news" Xander replied extremely shiftily and Buffy could tell he was apprehensive about telling her.

            "Well?"  She asked.  "Not good in the category of big ugly demon or apocalypse?"  

            "Not good in the category of so bad it made Faith break out of prison."  At Buffy's blank look Willow resigned herself to the telling.

            "Angelus is back."

            "Oh G-d."

Ok I know very very short.  Only because of a problem with the next bit of the story that Sam 453 pointed out to me, damn it.  Anyways don't give up on me quite yet there's a fair bit of action to come including Buffy's encounter with Angelus.

Please please please review!!!!


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